{"id":3999,"date":"2024-07-25T17:40:37","date_gmt":"2024-07-25T22:40:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elizadhill.com\/artofrecollection\/?page_id=3999"},"modified":"2024-08-16T14:33:46","modified_gmt":"2024-08-16T19:33:46","slug":"family-matters","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/elizadhill.com\/artofrecollection\/?page_id=3999","title":{"rendered":"Family Matters"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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25 Jul 2024<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Family Matters<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Family Login<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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If you can’t say anything nice<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

My great grandmother often taught us how to behave through a collection of favorite sayings. Some of them I understood immediately. Others, as a little girl, I puzzled over. But one that was understood and yet difficult for a chatty child is, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When researching our families, we assemble a treasure trove of information. We know births, marriages, deaths. We list children, spouses, grandchildren, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We search for obituaries, land records, the list goes on and on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Sometimes we encounter information that isn’t comfortable. What do you do with that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Uncomfortable Information<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The first time I encountered uncomfortable information concerned one of my great grandfathers. He was never talked about. I only recall three times he was mentioned and from the tone of voice more than the words, I got the impression something was not quite right. Years later, when I stumbled across a set of newspaper articles from the early 1900’s, I was stunned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I painted his picture using only the words from those articles, it would cast him in a very negative light. But is that a fair portrait?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Family is Complicated<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Family is a complicated organism. It encompasses a range of relationships and dynamics. Family interactions can shape our personalities, values, and decision-making. Beginning with the revelation of my great grandfather’s debacle, I could see a thread of life-choices running through multiple generations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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So, how much of stories like his should be shared?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Skeletons in the Closet<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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My great grandmother lived with what I imagine was a wide range of emotions. Anger and embarrassment probably barely scratch the surface. And yet, no one ever heard her complain. She took her own words to heart, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I decided some truths should be shared with living, breathing family, but kept private out of respect for those who had been directly involved. After all, I wasn’t there. I am reconstructing stories from information left behind and it would be terribly easy to write a story that mischaracterizes an ancestor.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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